Spanish Seasonings of a New Life Season

Can a dozen different orders of patatas bravas change your life? For sure the quest for the best has got me pondering the deep questions:

How many times do they fry those starchy morsels to get that cravable crisp on the outside while keeping the inside pillow-soft? What kind of oil do they use to get that addicting flavor? And the sauce, what is in their sometimes secret, pale red condiment?

We just returned from an extended trip in Spain. It was a bucket-list vacay to celebrate my husband crossing the finish line on full-time employment. Yes, we are entering a new life season where we can use acronyms like AWA as a shortcut whem describing the changes that come As We Age...But we resist calling it retirement because we have no plans to stop doing the work we are made to do:

Helping men, women, couples and organizations discover and embrace their passions, skills and gifts; and then create a future plan that aligns their life decisions with their unique wiring.

Since I started life coaching twenty years ago, I have called that sweet spot the thing you can’t not do (TTYCND). Each one of us has that thing going on. If we take the time we can find the thread of it in all of our life stages and ages.  

Take a moment to consider and reflect on this...TTYCND showed up in your childhood, perhaps through the draw your early friends had towards you. It can be found in your teen years as you started to hone what came easy for you for acceptance, advancement or recognition in particular groups, classes, sports and activities.

A thoughtful look back into your early adulthood could reveal further development of TTYCND through the jobs and friends you chose or those for which you were pursued. If you are farther down the road of life, you may have by this point, consciously or subconsciously conceded or landed on what those who have known you knew years ago: TTYCND.

I could have titled this post The One Question that Can Uncover Your Life Purpose:

If asked of your close friends or family members, What are three words that describe you? I’m wagering the majority of answers would circle your sweet spot, or TTYCND.

Ok, that might be over-simplifying it. There are about a dozen elements on my list of what encompasses personal leverage - all the elements that make you, your journey, your contribution, one-of-a-kind. How others’ see your outstanding characteristics is only one of those elements....But I can’t cover all of that in a single blog post...

Let me touch upon an important caution I would give to those who endeavor to do the DYI version of finding your life purpose: Due to both my personal and professional experience, I am compelled to forewarn you here:

What you are good at is not necessarily what you are passionate about.

Certainly part of what makes your contribution a unique asset in your field of influence has to do with your God-given gifts, skills and talents; but it will take a deeper dive into the package that is you to differentiate the long list of your natural abilities from the one or two passions that feel like fire in your belly when you think or talk about them.

Let me use myself as an example. Since I was young, I have always been called upon for tasks that require organizing and/or optimizing. I can see the order that can be made from disorder and find it easy to get there. Becoming a wife at 19 years of age and a mother at 20, those skills helped fill in for my lack of experience at those roles.

But running a household did not light a fire in my belly. I did not feel fulfilled by having an orderly home. This was one way I loved my husband and children, and for that I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom while the kids were young.

Once my children reached their teen years, I had the desire to spend some time pursuing something outside of running a household. My husband and daughter were brainstorming ideas with me...But their view of what I would be good at was weighted heavily by their experience of me as the manager of the home. Yet, doing more of what I had been immersed in for almost two decades didn’t get me excited.

As the two of them shared their description of me, I realized they were right about what they saw as my natural skills. But in that moment, I had the aha: Just because I’m good at these things doesn’t mean I’m passionate about them. I saw my organizing acumen as the means to an end – that is, get the household tasks done efficiently so I could engage in what I was passionate about: supporting and encouraging my growing family.

It took a couple more years for me to sift through my natural and practiced skills to uncover a pursuit about which I could be passionate. Eventually, I decided to try my hand at something that had become a part of my life in my twenties. I loved strength-training. I started going to a gym to lift weights when seeing a woman bench-pressing was still a rare thing.

I wanted to get more women comfortable with sculpting their bodies with muscle grown in a weight room.

And so, I investigated and pursued what was required to become certified as a personal trainer. I went on to have my own business, working with clients one-on-one in their homes. I did that work for a dozen years, loving the opportunities to impact people’s lives for good through education and encouragement.

When a consulting job called for my husband to spend some extended time in San Diego, the only way I could accompany him was to stop my PT business. I was ready...What I did not expect was the next thing to reveal itself while I was in SoCal. I happened upon a book about life coaching, specifically, Life Purpose Coaching (LPC).  As I took in what a Life Coach is or does, that fire in the belly heated up! I said to my husband, “That’s who I am!”

I recognized that when I was personal training my clients – especially in the personal context of their homes – I was impacting more than their physical fitness. I was coaching them in various domains of their lives, a lot like being a life coach. And when I went to my first round of training in Laguna Beach and the author who was instructing this first-ever class of future LPC’s asked each of us: Why do you want to be a Life Purpose Coach, it just popped into my head and out of my mouth:

Because it’s the thing I can’t not do! 

That was twenty years ago. Since then I have grown my credentials and toolbox as a professional life coach. I have also played the roles of coach instructor, a LifePlan facilitator, a retreat speaker, and administrator of several strength assessments – such as The Call, the Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram. But the essence of all of these roles is the same:

I am made to encourage others forward in their journeys. That’s TTICND!

My hope is you will be able to transfer my personal example to your own journey. To take a look back over the stages and ages of your life and see the common threads re: your impact on the people in your spheres of influence – whether that was the first friends you had in grade school, your family settings, your teen years and early adulthood, the years of your career(s)...There are repeatable themes, characteristics that repeat, rise to the top, stick in the minds of those who encounter you.

Since I was made to encourage and support, I offer both to you. Contact me if you would like a professional partner at this point in your pathway, or if you would benefit from experiencing a strength assessment.

Another TTICND is to take in every new experience with all five of my senses. Our trip through Spain was no exception - I saw it, smelled it, felt it, heard it and ate it! As my final encouragement, if you have the opportunity, don’t hesitate to explore España with all of its sensory experiences – not the least of which is their food! Here are a couple of shots from our paella cooking class in Valencia.

Hasta Luego!

A worthy pondering:

What’s the thing I can’t not do? What was I known for, even back in childhood? What not only comes easy for me, but lights up that fire in my belly?

If you know TTYCND, do you currently have an expression or outlet for it? Might you consider making a change to make room for such an outlet?

If you are looking at a new season approaching, how might you incorporate TTYCND into your day-to-day life, whether through a vocation or avocation?

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Blessed to play a part ~

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