Blog | Perils And Pearls

Welcome to my blog: Perils and Pearls

My heart's desire in this endeavor is to offer support and encouragement to the hearts' of women. That you would feel accompanied - not alone - as we travel together and find the jewels in our sometimes perilous journeys.

The Invasion From Glory

Dec 17, 2025
4 min read

In these days before the celebration of Christ’s birth, I wanted to share a gift with you. I have recently found myself drawn to the writings of a minister and author whose unassuming humility and graciousness belie the depth of his scholarship and insight. Michael Sprague’s LinkedIn posts are consistently thoughtful, edifying and bring a new perspective to a scripture or topic that may not be new, or possibly even so familiar as to seem cliché in meaning.

Here, with his permission, I am sharing a recent writing he posted about the timing of the “Invasion from Glory” relative the that particular local culture and what was going on in the world at large in that time. I came away not only enlightened by some historical facts, but also enlarged in my view of God, and reminded of how His timing is layered with meaning and purposes far beyond what we see, correlate or comprehend.

Have a read and be blessed. And may your Christmas be filled with His love, peace and joy.

PREPARING THE NURSERY: There is a lot to love about the Christmas season: lights, trees, family, faith and music. I just saw the list of the 100 top Christmas songs. "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" was #8. "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" was in the top 20. Sorry grandmas! Can you guess the #1 Christmas song?

Silent Night! which was written in 1818. Between the end of the Old Testament and beginning of the New Testament there were many Silent Nights. 400 years’ worth. No prophets. No new messages. Silence. In most of our Bibles there is one blank page between Malachi and Matthew. It is referred to as the intertestamental period or the 400 years of silence.

Maybe you have been going through dark times and Silent Nights. It is during these times when God is SILENT we must remember He is not STILL, and we lean into his SOVEREIGNTY. Oh how God was busy during those 400 silent years rearranging the world stage for the arrival of Jesus.

I was reading Galatians 4:4a today and was blown away, “But when the fullness of time was come, God sent forth His son.” God readied the nursery in Bethlehem for a baby to rescue people from their sins. The dots all connected with a convergence of circumstances that would rock the world and quickly spread the Good News.

Here are five keys on how the world was prepared for the Invasion from Glory:

1. COMMON LANGUAGE - Koine, the common Greek Language permeated the empire so people, both great and common, could easily communicate.

2. ROADS - 55,000 miles of roads were paved to create pathways for commerce and communication, including the gospel.

3. PAX ROMANO - The Peace of Rome provided a time of relative quiet peace in human history.

4. SYNAGOGUES - The emergence of the synagogue system of local worship centers throughout the empire provided a built-in launchpad for Jesus, Paul, and others to announce the Good News.

5. INTERNATIONAL HIGHWAY - The number one rule of real estate is Location, Location, Location. God positioned Israel as the Landbridge to three continents: Africa, Asia, and Europe. Commerce, trade, and travel in the ancient world went right through Israel and in particular the headquarters of Jesus in Capernaum. The nations could make money and hear about the Living God.

Only God! What timing. The stage was set. The fullness of time had come. The world would never be the same. Outwardly, it would have looked like the Roman Empire had the same problems and wickedness that characterizes our day, but the Father was working. He is equally at work in our times and in your life and mine. How might He use the internet? Times of Turmoil? Your job? The ability to travel? International students coming to our campuses?

Remember - when God seems SILENT, He is not STILL and we need to lean into his SOVEREIGNTY.

To consider...

 Where in your life are you experiencing “silent nights,” and how might God be actively at work behind the scenes even when you cannot see or hear Him?

 What circumstances, resources, or relationships in your current season might be part of God “preparing the nursery” for something you do not yet fully understand?

 When God feels silent, what does it look like for you to lean into His sovereignty rather than trying to regain control through your own efforts?

**My offers of support: If you contact me via ‘chat w/ me’ on Perils & Pearls, I will gift you a thirty-minute coaching session to talk about how you might develop your resilience through the struggle(s) you are currently facing.

**And if you have been stirred to further explore your unique wiring – strengths, passions, challenges - & you would like to experience a strength assessment with a certified life coach, I invite you to contact me.

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Blessed to play a part ~

Part 5: Breaking the Loop—12 Strategies to Shift Fear-Based Patterns

Dec 1, 2025
6 min read

You can change your relationship with your thoughts

This is my final writing in a series of posts re: fear loops. Together, these 5 short pieces build a cohesive journey:

Recognizing the loop → Understanding your biology → Clarifying the emotions → Reframing your thoughts → Practicing strategies

This last post will get to the strategies, that when practiced, can guide you from stepping out of the fear loop to nurturing resilience and reframing the pain into purpose. (*Go here if you would like to read the other 4 parts of this series.)

Circle back with me to the situation I opened this series with: The family crisis of my husband quitting his job unexpectedly. What if, when Jim came home early to announce he had resigned, I was already educated, aware and practiced at responding to the activation of my threat-based emotional response system with the understandings and tools I have since learned?

For someone wired like me, that type of reflection can easily slip into thoughts of waste, failure, defeat...(Uh oh, another loop trying to form?!) But also in my inner coding is the thing I can’t not do: encourage others and bring hope. Seen through that lens, I now recognize purpose in the pain: an opportunity to model our family values to our children regarding turning to our faith in God and trusting He has a good plan for us, will provide everything we need, and will work all things together for our good and His purposes.

This in turn, can strengthen our resilience, individually and as a family, for future challenges; and increase our empathic response for supporting others during their challenges. This bigger-picture perspective helped reframe the setback, and countered the temptation to see only waste and harm in the trial we experienced as a family the day the garage door went up midday.

To quote Rick Warren, pastor and author of the globally successful book, The Purpose-driven Life:

There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain.

Over the years, Jim and I have noticed a pattern in our journey – a recurring theme we summarize this way:

If we had not been through that, we would not have been prepared for this.

In other words, when we reflect on a season of trial, once on the other side of it, we can see that what we learned or how it changed us was a necessary capacity expansion in order to be equipped to meet what came next. This is a real-life example of one of the strategies I share later: visualizing a peaceful or purposeful outcome. In my worldview, that outcome is often a sense of growth and meaning – a way to find purpose in the pain.

As I immersed myself in the research for this article I came to the realization that no matter the type of intervention - therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment or Cognitive Behavioral or Somatic Experiencing, or the simple, everyday strategies shared at the end of this post – two ingredients are essential: acceptance and commitment.

I can choose to let a car go by- not get in it!

For me, acceptance means internalizing how my mind will always produce some amount of negative thoughts. That is what the brain is designed to do. But treating thoughts simply as mental activity, and not facts, I can commit to changing my strategy from trying to eliminate unhelpful thoughts to instead, stripping them of power by releasing them rather than latching onto them. (i.e. Don’t get in the cars - let them drive on by.)

My hope is I have offered you a layperson’s understanding of the interplay of our distress emotions and the loops that can entangle us when we are not actively aware of them and intentionally countering the brain’s negativity bias.

To support your ongoing growth and resilience, I leave you with a set of practical strategies – and a few reflection questions - to engage both your mind and body in the process of breaking fear-based patterns.

Questions for exploring...

1. What comes to mind from your own life when you read about my family crisis and the neurobiological responses that followed? Can you identify a time when you have experienced a similar cycle of fear, worry, and anxiety?

2. Have you experienced breaking through such a cycle? What helped you recognize what was happening in your mind and body, and interrupt the fear loop?

3. What kind of support do you need to consistently practice regulating your distress emotions when a crisis arises?

4. What is one step you could take this week towards building a more reliable response to or disruption of fear loops?

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12 Doable Strategies for Reducing Fear Loop Cycles and Their Effects

1. Practice Present-Moment Awareness

Gently redirect your attention from past regrets or future worries to what’s happening right now. This helps break the cycle of fear by grounding you in the only moment you can actually influence—the present.

2. Use the “5-4-3-2-1” Grounding Technique

This simple sensory exercise can be helpful in pulling you out of fear loops fast:

Name:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can feel

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

3. Nurture Your Spiritual Core

Feed your inner life through prayer, medita0on, or reflec0on. For example, trus0ng in God’s love, care, and sovereignty over all 0me—past, present, and future—can ease the grip of fear and ins0ll peace.

4. Use Breath and Senses to Anchor Yourself

Engage in practices like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or mindful observation. These help regulate the nervous system and bring you back to your body and the moment at hand.

5. Reframe Thoughts as Mental Activity, Not Absolute Truth

Recognize that thoughts are not facts. Picture them like cars driving by on a road—some helpful, some not. You can’t stop the traffic, but you can choose not to get in the vehicles that lead to distress. Let unhelpful thoughts pass without climbing in.

6. Label the Fear

Simply naming what you're experiencing—“This is anxiety,” “This is fear”—can reduce its intensity. It gives your brain some distance and keeps you from going fully swept into the emo0onal wave.

7. Challenge Catastrophic Thinking

Ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could realistically happen?” and then, “What else might happen instead?” This technique, from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), helps disrupt irra0onal or exaggerated fear loops.

8. Create a Safety Ritual Design

A simple daily or situa0onal rou0ne that signals safety to your nervous system—a walk, a calming cup of tea, journaling, or repea0ng a grounding phrase like “I am safe right now.”

9. Move Your Body Gently

Fear is stored not just in the mind but in the body. Try walking, stretching, or yoga to discharge excess fear energy. Even light movement can help reset your system.

10. Limit Fear-Triggering Input

Reduce your exposure to fear-inducing content like doom-scrolling, sensa0onalized news, or social media that fuels comparison or anxiety.

11. Connect with Supportive People

Isolation feeds fear. Reach out to someone who listens without judgment. Even a brief conversa0on with a friend or mentor can rewire your sense of safety and reality.

12. Visualize a Peaceful Outcome

Instead of obsessing over what could go wrong, inten0onally imagine a scenario where things work out. This helps train your brain to expect hope—not disaster.

***************************************************************************************

You now have tools to recognize, reframe, and release fear loops. The next step is yours: start small, practice often, and share your growth with others.

Reflect:

Which strategy will you practice this week — and how will you know it’s helping?

Journaling Prompt:

Choose one strategy and commit to practicing it daily for seven days. At the end of the week, write about what you noticed in your body, mind, and emotions.

**Or - If you are interested in having these 12 Strategies to Shift Fear-Based Patterns as a download, contact me.

Blessed to play a part ~

Part 4: Escaping the Happiness Trap—Shifting Thought Patterns

Nov 11, 2025
5 min read

You can change your relationship w/ thoughts

This is Part 4 of a series on thought loops that can be formed from fear, worry and anxiety - how we can get trapped in them and how to break free from them. (If you want to read the first three in this blog series go here.)

In the previous post (Part 3), I covered the distinctions between the three distress emotions - fear, worry, and anxiety - how each contributes to a fear loop. I also defined ‘feedback loops’ and differentiated ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ feedback loops. I finished with an invitation to consider which distress emotion shows up most often in your story, and how it may keep you stuck in a loop.

Now I’m excited to share a valuable resource that was a gamechanger in my personal quest to transform how I relate to the thoughts that are at the core of these distress loops. Read on...

The Happiness Trap Impact: Recognize the Loop for What It Is

Many years ago a therapist introduced me to a life-changing book: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.The book is about learning how to accept pain as a part of life and deal with it productively. The author advocates ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, for remaking your perspective on and response to painful feelings and thoughts.

I experienced numerous epiphanies over the course of multiple readings of the book, including a more rational way to look at thoughts: as mental activity not facts, accepting difficult thoughts rather than fighting them, and being more committed to aligning my life with my personal values and what that might look like in practice.

A couple of key insights I gained from the book, and have since intentionally focused on:

Psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present and take value-based action even in the face of emotional pain.

Another valuable, yet seemingly simple realization was:

Avoidance of negative thoughts or feelings often makes suffering worse.

Thoughts are like cars, circling in your mind

But what proved to be the most impactful and applicable takeaway for me was Harris’s metaphor:

Cars endlessly circling — a vivid image that captured the cognitive shift I desired.

In this metaphor, the cars represent our thoughts, and we are hard-wired for more negative thoughts, (referred to as a negativity bias), out of the vigilance necessary to detect any possible threat to our survival. Hence, we are naturally inclined to produce self-protective, even suspicious, thoughts.

But just because a thought keeps circling in my head, does not mean it is or becomes reality or fact. The key is accepting that there will always be negative or foreboding thoughts circling; but I have a choice to ‘not get in the car’, to let it drive on by. In other words, I cannot stop the traffic, but I can choose not to get in the vehicles that lead to distress. Let unhelpful thoughts pass without climbing in.

Because of the simplicity of this visual of circling cars, I have found it a reliable go-to when I am in the moment of realizing my nervous system is being hijacked (or carjacked) by some thought that is trying to assert itself as a fact. It is really one kind of loop keeping me out of another kind of loop!

As the neurobiology adage goes: practice makes permanent. By consistently applying this insight, I have gained something lasting: the recognition that thoughts are mental activity, not facts.

I may not be able to stop negative thoughts from forming, but I can strip them of their power by changing how I relate to them. This has become a reliable tool in my ongoing effort to step out of – or stay out of - the fear feedback loop.

I hope you have been stirred to consider adopting the transformative truth that thoughts are not facts. And perhaps, like me, the simple image of circling cars will stick with you and prompt the choice we all have to not get in the cars that represent the unhelpful thoughts that can lead to being trapped in disabling fear loops.

Remember: Thoughts may keep circling, but you don’t have to get in every car that passes by. With practice, you can develop your ability to stay present and take value-based action (psychological flexibility) - even in moments of emotional pain - and choose to which thoughts you give your attention and energy; rather than feeling powerless to avoid the mental trap of the distress emotions that life's challenges can bring.

Coming up next: The last in this series, where I will share an important resource for taking what we have learned together about our distress emotions and turning it into action. Specifically, I will share: 12 Practical Strategies to Shift Fear-Based Patterns. These very doable techniques will load your toolbox for changing your relationship with thoughts; and in turn, empowering you to escape or avoid debilitating fear loops.

Meanwhile...For reflection:

Picture the cars circling in your mind...What thought keeps circling in your head — and how would it change your day if you let it drive by instead of climbing in?

Invitation to journal:

List three thoughts that circle most often. For each, write down what would happen if you simply observed it rather than acted on it.

**My offer of support: If you contact me via ‘chat w/ me’ on Perils & Pearls, I will gift you a thirty-minute coaching session to talk about how you might develop your resilience through the struggle(s) you are currently facing.

Blessed to play a part ~