Part 3: Fear, Worry, Anxiety and Stress—Untangling the Distress Web

This spooky web can be sticky to get out of!

I have been sharing my exploration into fear - its webs and loops, and generally speaking, its power to throw our emotions into dysregulation and our body systems out of the homeostasis for which we were made. My first two posts on the topic can be found here, if you would like to read them.

I used the personal story of our family handling the acute crisis of my husband resigning suddenly, to introduce the idea of fear loops as well as describe what goes on in our nervous systems in response to an acute threat. Then we covered the concept of homeostasis: a point of stability or balance that our nervous systems are designed to find and sustain or return to. I shared the steps the nervous system (parasympathetic, specifically), goes through to calm us down, and a few tools to help restore equilibrium.

Let’s do a deeper dive now, into fear loops - and specifically, fear feedback loops- that can become like a sticky web that ensnares both our thoughts and bodies.

How Can a Negative Feedback Loop Be Positive?

I have mentioned feedback loops, but have not yet defined the term. Early in my fear research, I sought out a clear and applicable definition, and actually found it outside the field of neurobiology. A highly regarded source that articulates the concept of  feedback loops, including both the positive and negative types, in the context of systems and biology is the landmark book: Business Dynamics: Systems Thinking and Modeling for a Complex World  by MIT Standish Professor of Management and Director of the System Dynamics Group, John D. Sterman. According to Sterman:

 A feedback loop is a system where the output of a process is fed back into the system as input, either to regulate (stabilize or maintain balance) or to amplify the effects of the process.

As examples, feedback loops are common in biology, such as when describing body temperature regulation, and in psychology, when explaining how anxiety can feed more anxious thoughts.

There are two types of feedback loops, negative and positive. But the use of the words, negative and positive, can be misleading here. A negative feedback loop does not mean it is necessarily unhealthy or undesirable. Labeling it negative refers to the effect (or output) of counteracting the original input. Such is true in the example of stabilizing body temperature: In thermoregulation, the negative loop works to reverse the change and maintain homeostasis by keeping body temperature within a narrow, healthy range.

Whereas a positive feedback loop refers to the output of amplifying or increasing the original input, but it does not always mean the result is healthy or desirable. Referring to the psychology example, where anxiety feeds more anxious (unhealthy) thoughts, using the term positive feedback loop describes the amplification of the original input.  

A simple way I have found to remember the difference is this:

A negative feedback loop is self-correcting or counteracting, while a positive feedback loop is self-reinforcing or amplifying.

Applying these definitions to my own system’s response to our family’s difficulty, I realized I had been pulled into a positive feedback loop upon hearing my husband’s news (I quit my job!):

My unregulated distress response was producing anxious and catastrophic thinking, that then led to more anxiety. I needed to get in touch with the elements of this destructive and unsustainable loop to steady my system so I could support my children’s and husband’s internal response systems returning to stable.

Distinguishing the Elements of the Loop

In this discussion of feedback loops, fear, worry and anxiety each play a role in creating and sustaining a disruptive fear cycle. And all three emotions produce a stress response.

In our everyday lives, we tend to use the emotion words, fear, worry, anxiety and stress, interchangeably when describing someone’s emotional state; but are they synonyms? In fact, although related, these distress responses are distinct in origin and expression.

Consider how each emotion contributes to the creation of this fear loop: Initial fear is an immediate stress response to a possible threat, whereas worry creates a more prolonged stress response in which the threat does not have to be immediate, just possible. If the worry continues it becomes chronic, keeping the body in a state of stress, even without an active threat. Over time this can produce the state of anxiety that can result in burnout and/or health problems.

This creates a feedback loop:

The resulting anxiety, from the unregulated fear and worry, heightens the perception of threat - even benign or imagined ones – then more fear is triggered...and the stress response is continually activated.

Here is a chart that summarizes these feedback loop components, their roles and natures:

The bottom line is fear triggers acute stress. Repeated negative thinking prolongs activation, manifesting in worry and anxiety. Over time, this leads to chronic stress, which throws off our neural circuits and hormonal systems, making us more reactive to fear and less able to regulate worry and facilitate homeostasis in our total brain-body system.

Reflecting on my family experience now, I can identify moments when I was caught in each of those phases of a fear feedback loop. Thankfully, necessity propelled me learn more about how to recognize when the fear switch is being tripped and gain the awareness and tools needed to disrupt the formation of the unhealthy loop.

Now that we can see how fear, worry, and anxiety - all producing a stress response - create unhealthy and unhelpful loops, we can turn our attention to:

How can we change the way we relate to these inevitable distress emotions? The key? How you handle your thoughts.

In my next post, I will share a valuable resource that was a gamechanger in my quest to transform how I relate to the thoughts that are a part of these distress loops. Stay tuned...

Meanwhile, to ponder...

Which distress emotion -fear, worry, anxiety (all of which produce stress responses)- shows up most often in your story, and how does it keep you stuck in a loop?

To consider...

Journaling Prompt: Identify a recent situation where you experienced fear, worry, stress, or anxiety. Which one was at the root, and how did it spiral into the others?

**My offer of support: If you contact me via ‘chat w/ me’ on Perils & Pearls, I will gift you a thirty-minute coaching session to talk about how you might develop your resilience through the struggle(s) you are currently facing.

**And if you have been stirred to further explore your unique wiring – strengths, passions, challenges - & you would like to experience a strength assessment with a certified life coach, I invite you to contact me.

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! But, if you run into tech obstacles when trying to post a comment, please feel free to do as so many of you have done: Send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together! 

Blessed to play a part ~

g

Part 2:Restoring Balance—How Our Bodies Seek Homeostasis

You were built for balance

In my last post, I started a series on the topic of fear loops: How life brings situations that can set us up for getting sucked into - and stuck in - unhealthy and/or unhelpful cycles of fear-based emotions. I shared a personal story from our family history to illustrate what goes on internally in our brain and nervous system while we are in a real-life situation externally. [Go here if you would like to read the last post.]

Now we are going to take a look at how our bodies were designed to restore balance when a triggering event has pulled on the nervous system emergency cord and we find ourselves in a negative loop, experiencing the absence of peace and the opposite of calm.

When our brain-body system evaluates something as neurologically threatening, we need the intervention of awareness, tools, and support to return to a stable state.

Homeostasis refers to the body’s natural ability to maintain or restore internal balance, even when external conditions shift.

Various systems work together to keep essential conditions like temperature, blood sugar, and hydration within a narrow range, ensuring optimal function and survival.

Our neurophysiological interface is built to restore that equilibrium. But to do so, it requires a perceived reduction in threat and the presence of some form of safety. This sense of safety can be facilitated by many different modalities - such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, or connection with others, to name a few.  

If the body begins to detect increased safety, the parasympathetic nervous system (the "rest and digest" response that helps your body rest, recover, and conserve energy—the opposite of the “fight or flight” sympathetic system.) is able to restore calm and rebalance internal systems. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, (the part of the brain responsible for thinking, decision-making, planning, and self-control), will re-engage, enabling us to think more clearly and access more positive, rational self-talk.

Back to my family story of when the husband and father (from Part 1 of this blog series), came home mid-afternoon to tell us he had resigned...

Upon hearing my husband’s shocking news, I had been pulled into a fear loop: my unregulated distress response was producing anxious and catastrophic thinking, that then led to more anxiety. I needed to get in touch with the elements of this destructive and unsustainable loop to steady my system so I could support my children’s and husband’s internal response systems returning to stable.

If I was to experience any peace in the aftermath of Jim’s life-altering decision, I needed to start regulating my emotions and challenging the onset of the fear feedback loop that had taken hold.

Only then could I hope to shift to more grounded, reality-based thoughts like:"He has successfully landed jobs before," or "My background has me trained for this! I believe I can support Jim by managing the household around this temporary shortage."

Earlier I mentioned that a sense of safety can be facilitated by many different modalities - such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, or other means of speaking calm to your body. Let’s move from what’s going on that is threatening the balance our body was designed for to what we can do to facilitate the restoration of homeostasis when we encounter the inevitable upsets of life.

Here are a few means to recreate a sense of safety:

• Use Breath and Senses to Anchor Yourself Engage in practices like deep breathing or box breathing. These help regulate the nervous system and bring you back to your body and the moment at hand.

• Nurture Your Spiritual Core Feed your inner life through prayer, meditation, or reflection. For example, trusting in God’s love, care, and sovereignty over all time—past, present, and future—can ease the grip of fear and instill peace.

• Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique This simple sensory exercise can be helpful in pulling you out of fear loops fast:

Name:

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

In the next post, I will further unpack fear loops, distinguishing the different elements that make up these repeatable cycles: fear, worry, stress and anxiety.

Meanwhile, I invite you to practice employing one or more of these tools for restoring the peace for which your body was designed, even in the midst of situations that threaten the calm.

For reflection:

 Your body is wired for balance. Reflect on a time when you felt yourself calming down after stress. What helped restore your sense of safety — deep breaths, movement, prayer, or the support of others? 

Journaling Prompt: 

Describe a time when you shifted from chaos to calm. What signs told you your body was finding balance again?

*My offer of support: If you contact me via ‘chat w/ me’ on Perils & Pearls, I will gift you a thirty-minute coaching session to talk about how you might develop your resilience through the struggle(s) you are currently facing.

*And if you have been stirred to further explore your unique wiring – strengths, passions, challenges - & you would like to experience a strength assessment with a certified life coach, I invite you to contact me.

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! But, if you run into tech obstacles when trying to post a comment, please feel free to do as so many of you have done: Send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together! 

Blessed to play a part ~

g

Part 1: The Fear Loop — When Life Hijacks Your Calm

It was the 1990s on a typical weekday, with the usual sounds – me clanking kitchenware as I prepared dinner, and our two kids in their favorite spots for doing homework, bantering to distract themselves from the monotony. 

Then came the sound that signaled the end of normal.  The groan of the garage door rising mid-afternoon froze the three of us in place. My sensory memory offered nothing comforting to ease my body’s stress response to the familiar yet misplaced sound. I can still feel the tightness in my gut as I relive the somatic assault of the slow, grinding ascent of steel and the tension of that day.

When the husband and father (let’s call him Jim) came through the door, three pairs of eyes were dialed onto his every move, expression, and gesture. Our faces were asking the same question of him: Why are you home at three o’clock on a Wednesday? (Obviously, this was before the work-from-home era – and before minute-by-minute updates via cell phones.)

When Jim began to speak, I failed to hear anything past Well, I quit! My neurobiology took over:

• My amygdala, the brain’s emotional alarm system, quickly evaluated the words as threatening and triggered an immediate stress response, which is faster than conscious thought.

• My hypothalamus received the signal from the amygdala, initiating the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response.

• My hippocampus (the brain’s memory processor) tried to interpret the meaning based on past experiences.

• My prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, attempted to assess if there was real danger.

  
  

But here is the caveat: Because I was having a strong emotional reaction to what I was hearing, my amygdala overrode the reasoning my pre-frontal cortex was trying to provide,

effectively erasing all rational thought in that moment.

So, as you might imagine, the shock now coursing through my mind and body was quickly transmitted to the children. In fewer than five minutes, we were all reduced to quivers and questions.  Our bodies were now fully engaged in this neurobiological cascade of symptoms:

My sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn response) shifted into gear, preparing the body:

• Adrenal glands release stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol)

• Heart rate increasing, preparing me for action

• Breathing quickens to supply more oxygen

• Muscles tensing in readiness to move or defend

• Digestive functions are slowing down to conserve energy

And so the unregulated distress response became a cognitive-emotional loop: My negative thoughts intensified (We are ruined!...This feels like my childhood,) reinforcing the emotional reaction.

Then add in these factors, which only exacerbated the looping: The threat seemed difficult to size in the moment (Just how long will it take for him to get another job?), and the situation reminded me of the insecurities produced by my father’s employment choices during my childhood and the impact on the family.

This fear loop, if left unregulated, was on track to be on infinite repeat over the ensuing days, weeks, and months...however long it would be to the return of a stable environment. Meanwhile, the distinct but overlapping concepts of fear, worry, stress, and anxiety became a jumbled amalgamation of our mental and emotional states of exhaustion...

To be continued...

What is proving true for me: writing necessitates research, research brings enlightenment, enlightenment invites personal growth. I hope you join me for exploring this topic that affects us all.

In the next several blog posts, I will be sharing more on this concept of fear loops. I recently had an article on this topic published in American Institute of Stress (AIS) e-magazine called Contentment. [Go here if you would like to explore this excellent resource: AIS or Contentment Magazine].

For reflection:

👉Think back to a moment when life surprised you and your body reacted before your brain could catch up.

• What did that moment feel like in your body — tightness, racing heart, shallow breath?

👉Journaling Prompt: Write about one time your body sent you into “alert mode” before you had the chance to think. How did it shape the rest of that experience?

Fear can hijack your mind in an instant — but your body is designed to restore calm.

[Next up: Part 2 → Built to Bounce Back — How Your Body Restores Balance]

*My offer of support: If you contact me via ‘chat w/ me’ on Perils & Pearls, I will gift you a thirty-minute coaching session to talk about how you might develop your resilience through the struggle(s) you are currently facing.

*And if you have been stirred to further explore your unique wiring – strengths, passions, challenges - & you would like to experience a strength assessment with a certified life coach, I invite you to contact me.

If you would like to follow me on this adventure, and receive notice whenever I post something new, please subscribe. (It’s simple – at the top and bottom of every page on the Perils & Pearls blog site. *No need to be a 'member.')

**A word about POSTING COMMENTS: I LV engaging with your feedback/responses to my writings! But, if you run into tech obstacles when trying to post a comment, please feel free to do as so many of you have done: Send me a private message using the "Let's Chat" option on the Perils & Pearls Home Page.

And if you know people who would benefit from the support, and/or enjoy the short writings, please share the site or a post with them. Heck, just share it on your social media…Let’s grow it together! 

Blessed to play a part ~

g